Our family sat around the living room last night as the first day of 2018 came to an end. We weren’t gathered for a movie or a game, but to talk about the future. The question was asked, “What has God been teaching you in these last few months and what do you see Him guiding you towards in this next year?”
Answers came out slowly. It is a very personal thing to share areas that God is refining in your life. It puts our imperfections and sometimes our blatant sins on display for others to see. It makes us vulnerable. And that isn’t easy, even among family.
I soaked in the words of my children and husband. I could see their fears and disappointments wrapped up in their revelations, but I also saw hope and expectation in what was still to come. One is striving for holiness, another is wanting to maintain proper focus, and another feels the need to learn how to study the Word better. The hearts of the people who live in my home amaze me continually.
When it was my turn, I shared how I felt my heart for the coming year has been prepped for surrender. God has shown me the need to replace my wants, my plans for His. Surrender doesn’t come easy. We sing the song in church, I Surrender All, but we seldom actually act on those words and we definitely don’t want God to hold us to it as if it were a heartfelt commitment.
In the days of prayer leading up to this calling, God revealed some areas in my life that I have been selfishly holding on to, unwilling to surrender. It was a necessary revelation because I was trying to argue with God that this wasn’t what I needed in 2018. Whoa, was I wrong.
To start a new year from a posture of surrender doesn’t fill me with boldness or strength. I am uncertain. I am a bit afraid. I have absolutely no idea what part of me God will turn inside out next or when He will direct me to do something that is absolutely beyond what I want. But, I am willing to step onto this path He has called me to walk.
I am confident that God is good and everything He does is good. I will choose to trust in Him because of His great faithfulness. It is because of who He is that I am willing to step into a new year full of anticipation, hope, and even surrender.
I like how Priscilla Shirer puts it in The Armor of God Study. “Your level of faith will always be tied to your perception of God. If your perception of Him is faulty, your faith will be faulty. If your perception of Him is on point, your faith will be too. You don’t need more faith; you need a more comprehensive and accurate view of the faithfulness of your God.”
Through this year of surrender, I want to gain a better understanding of who God is. I want to see Him at work in ways that I never imagined. I want to enjoy sweet fellowship and communion with Him. Though fear and uncertainty may fill my heart, I choose to surrender all.